Spaceship called earth

I write and sometimes I research... so then this comes out of me:

We're on a spaceship made of dirt and water and it's traveling at 30kms per second around our solar system. Go team astronaut earth people!
Also, our solar system (with us in it) is traveling around our galaxy at 220kms a second. If you want to look out the window, well, that's called night time.
Imagine if you fell off the planet for a little bit (fell out the window?), you would have to flap your arms heaps and heaps to catch back up!

Mat Clarke
http://www.matclarke.wranga.com.au/

It's the season to be sandy, lalalalala, la la la.

It's the season to be sandy, lalalalala, la la la. If you're living in (visiting) one of the warmer climates this year around the holiday season, have a read of this little story about sand and summer :)

https://sites.google.com/site/2013sandyholidays2014/

A boy and his sand man.

Dreams and wishes

Blurred lines parody with zombies

We've put something together that you will find dodgy but also get a laugh from.
A Robin Thicke video clip but using the cast I had for the 1 minute video involving zombies.

This is the youtube vid:
http://youtu.be/NElIqaJtl74

This is a website involving the zombie watching:

http://youtu.be/YGRMFJClPKw

And this is the website by Tech Dynamics and the video they wanted to show:

http://techdynamicsnyc.wix.com/zads

http://youtu.be/9Q-rntPcpQU

Enjoy!

ZADS kill zombies

Tech Dynamics is proud to have acquired a short video captured by satisfied customers, in the moment that our ZADS clean up their city of zombies and other viral affected humans.

See the website and watch as the streets are made safe again, once more.

http://techdynamicsnyc.wix.com/zads

Note: All uploaded footage remains the property of Tech Dynamics, New York, LLC.

This will interest all you Romance writers!

Interested in writing and being published with a Romance publisher? Want your book to be on the stands on Valentines Day in 2014? Then you better get yourself to the Carina Publishing website!

http://festivalofromance.co.uk/#/carina-uk/4578796908

Get your Synopsis in now :D

Create professional webpage - completely free!

How I came across this site, I can not recall, but I'm glad I did. It's even better than Google Sites. This website allows you to create some great website pages that look like they've been created by a professional.

Each element and all the text can be altered, deleted and replaced. Plus, there are options to add more.

You can have more than one page and you can even set up something for shopping / Paypal, it states, so people can buy items / books directly from you and not Amazon! How great is that!

I've started mine, but have only set up the first page. Here it is here:  http://matclarkeauthor.wix.com/novelist

I'll definitely get around to adding more soon.

No experience necessary. It displays little helpers to direct you on what to do next and how to do it.

One piece of advice, use an mail address for your sign in, which is also your pen name, it uses this to create your website address. 

The site states that this can be changed later, however, so don't stress too much if you aren't able to follow this advice when you first create your account.

Have fun!

P.S. On my website, on the top right corner, is the TAB: Create a Wix Site. Click there to make your own webpage.

3D printing body parts

Ok, so did you see my other post about 3D printing actual objects: http://matclarke.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/3d-printing-actual-object-in-your-hands.html

Well now doctors have successfully printed a living human ear including cartilage.

More info here: http://au.news.yahoo.com/technology/news/article/-/16215423/scientists-use-3d-printer-to-build-living-ear/

Are you thinking what I'm thinking. Could we be printing replacement limbs? Bones? A new face if you don't like your old one?
The ideas are endless.
Maybe you could even make your own person from scratch!!!

Doctor Victor Frankenstein would be smiling right :)

Don't Panic They're Just Hemorrhoids - Cure hemorrhoids now!

Need Hemorrhoid help?

Stop hemorrhoids in their tracks and never get them again.
Also, how to never get hemorrhoids in the first place!


It’s a scary world where your bottom can bleed, itch and burn like it’s on fire. Especially when it’s accompanied by a part of your body swelling up and poking out.
Why is it happening to me?
How is it happening?
Did I do something wrong?
I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t know what to do about it!

Never fear, I have researched this ailment extensively so that I can inform you on what exactly is going on down there, and give you the knowledge you need to make an educated decision on what you should do about it straight away. You’ll also discover that having inflamed hemorrhoids is not the end of the world. In fact you’ll live a completely regular life. You just need to know what to do.

Oh, and another thing, yes the swelling will go down and the pain will go away.
Feel better?
Good.

You will have some solid work ahead of you to do your part in helping this process along.
There’s no miracle fix. Just some mild regular maintenance to keep your body running the way nature intended.

If you're interested, but  don't want to spend loads of money on a supposed MIRACLE CURE book or expensive pills or strange remedies, then you can buy my very cheap book. Just click on the link below:

"Don't Panic They're Just Hemorrhoids"
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/276726?ref=matclarke
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BYYA6UK
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BYYA6UK
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00BYYA6UK

Also, other books by Mat Clarke:
Links for 31 Odd Short Stories:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/338427?ref=matclarke
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E5I9W02
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00E5I9W02
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00E5I9W02





Get better soon!
Mat.

-----------------------

How to get money from helping to sell this book:

If you want to earn profits (15%) from a book you didn't even write, then become a member of Smashwords and list my book on your facebook page, website, blog, etc: https://www.smashwords.com/about/smashwords_affiliate_documentation

Acknowledgements

A big thank you to the people who helped with the editing of this book and for adding their insights.
My brother, Shaun, and his wife, Melissa, for providing their valued feedback.
Jason Hargenrader, for checking content before sale to make sure all writings are accurate and not misunderstood.
Brad Corbett, the health and fitness expert who has kindly agreed to add his thoughts upon reading, Don’t Panic They’re Just Hemorrhoids.

“A great little book with straight forward information and helpful tips on what to do about a sometimes embarrassing condition.”

Brad Corbett
Osteopath, Sydney, Australia
bodiesinbalance.com.au

3D printing - an actual object in your hands with moving parts

Did anyone else already know about 3D printing? I must be way behind. I only found out today you can buy a home printer from $1,000. You can make your own vinyl records (not sure if they're actually vinyl though). You print from a 3D file on your computer. Or backwards engineer from a laser scan of an already existing object. Good bye, buying from China. Hello, make it yourself!

From News.com:
"3D printing really took off in 2012. For the uninitiated, you can print sunglass frames, machinery, shoes, headphones and even fabrics—almost anything is on the cards and is limited only by the size of the printer, the quality of the digital model, the type and quality of the printing compound and, of course, imagination"

Tunnel-Bridge across lower Port Phillip, Melbourne

What is a Tunnel-Bridge?

I’ve seen bridge-tunnels that run across the water and then dip down below a channel crossing to allow ships to pass, but I’ve never heard of a Tunnel-Bridge. It’s the other way around, right?
And is that a good enough reason to start building one?
No? Well, hmm, okay, how can I talk you into it... What if the reason was to conserve the areas around beaches, homes and national parks. Interested yet?

Yes or no, I’m still going to explain the premise and then where one needs to go.

For decades there has been talk of building a bridge to connect east and west Melbourne down Portsea and Queenscliff way. Maybe they will one day, or maybe they’ll build a tunnel.
But tunnels are boring, more expensive, won’t show off a brilliant new icon of Melbourne (like the Golden Gate Bridge), and can’t carry as much traffic as a long bridge.
Yes, I hear you say, but putting in a bridge means we have to build on-ramps and-off ramps and dredge up the earth across our beach. Not to mention there is no road which leads to the water’s edge that can sustain that much traffic!
Well, if the penny has dropped yet, you’ll see that the Tunnel-Bridge is the perfect option.
At present there are already plans to run the freeway (motorway) from the Mornington Peninsula Freeway to Melbourne Road. Then widen Melbourne Road all the way to Portsea. Once that is done, the work on the Tunnel-Bridge can begin.

A possibly likely beginning point would be at the intersection of Hotham Road in Portsea, just before the Golf Course. Here, once the tunnel is built, we travel under the earth and under the golf course until we’re then traveling under water.
Suddenly your car bursts out of the ocean on a road approximately 500 metres from shore and climbs into the air that will be Melbourne’s new iconic bridge.
It veers west and follows the route the ferry takes.
(The ferry will then be a good way tourists can see the bridge from another side).
As the car on the bridge closes on the shipping channel they rise further into the air until towering over everything. Then finally as the west coast comes into view it descends to join - not the shore of Queenscliff, but instead Point Lonsdale and the Bellarine Highway.

Now traffic between these areas will swell, not just because of the people wanting to see the bridge, and not just because there’s now easy access to Geelong, but because the city of Geelong will now want to share in that side of the coast. Housing will suddenly boom over the west and the two sides will be linked and population and traffic will be explosive.

Hang on, that much traffic travelling through! The roads won’t be able to support it. Sure, the new bridge and tunnel will be able to if the engineers allowed for the right amount of cars not just for today, but 20 years into the future, but the surrounding roads will boil and pop.
Hmm, so what do we do when there are so many cars on the roads that pollution, road rage, and traffic jams become a problem. Well, we put in train lines. Something the Victorian Government is loath to do.
Crazy that they don’t.
My thought is that whenever a bridge, tunnel, freeway, or tollway is built, then a trainline should be built alongside. Or over, or in between, or somewhere. You can’t just keep building more roads everywhere, you need to introduce more trains.
The artery of the commuter and the tourist.

All existing freeways should also have a train line built alongside it.

Frankston and Geelong should then be linked with a train line. If the government doesn’t do it then it will be at their own peril.
Instead of taking money from people because they use a necessity, which is electricity, politicians should use the grey matter in their head and develop new ideas that reduce pollution without robbing people blind. Yes, that’s right, trains. Trains move many people from one place to the next and do it well. Suddenly because the government has built more trainlines they don’t need to spend millions on other ways to reduce pollution. You’ve already got the basis there. You don’t need an invention. The technology has been around for ages. Put down train lines!

So there you have it, a good reason to build a magnificent bridge for all Australian people to admire. And a side note was that the public need more trainlines. Not just for travel sake, but to also reduce pollution and congestion on the roads.

Anthology of Short Stories II

Tuesday 11th December at 6pm, come along to the Wharf Hotel Melbourne for the Short Story Anthology Launch, by the Melbourne Writers' Social Group.
Have a chat about writing and everything else. Listen to a few short excerpts from the anthology and support us silly creative people :)

Why not come along and show off your creative work as well! There'll be lots of people interested in new or established authors.

Also we will announce the next anthology. To be completed by end of March 2013. WRITERS WANTED!
http://www.meetup.com/The-Melbourne-Writers-Meetup-Group/events/91770542/

Also, for you meat eaters it's $15 steak night!
Discount drinks too! Become a member for free on the night. Takes 30 seconds.

Anthology II 2012 - Writers wanted!

Anthology II 2012

Holiday Season in Melbourne (Australia)

Brought to you by the Melbourne Writers’ Social Group

Sponsored by The Story Mint

Last year we developed a small book of short stories for Valentine’s Day. Some of those stories were sweet and others not so sweet. This year we are kicking off another anthology with all stories themed for the coming holiday season in Melbourne, Australia.

You are not ruled by any genre and you are certainly not limited to just the more merry times over December; feel free to use the horror genre, for example.
You are however limited by word count and time.
Word count for stories (fiction or non-fiction): 1500 words maximum.
There is no minimum. However we would prefer you try and aim for approximately 1500 words.
If you intend to submit a poem, then the word count is different: 500 words maximum.

Start submitting your story to the Writer’s Pad before the end of October so you can receive feedback and act on it before submissions close. Please also make sure it is at least your third draft.
The Story Mint website: http://www.thestorymint.com/writers-pad

For full details and conditions please visit: http://melbournewriters.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/anthology-ii-2012-writers-wanted/

Click here - writers wanted

No death for anyone!

In the not too distant future I will write a book on my theory behind life and death. Until then, there is one aspect of my thoughts I would like to talk about: why a body dies.

Evolution needs our body to die... although only if we want to evolve and then also only if we want to procreate.
So first, evolution. Without it we would all be single celled organism swimming in a puddle of muck. Without procreation we wouldn’t have evolution from the combining of two sexes to create a unique being that has been ever so slightly altered to better adapt to its environment than its parents.
Lastly, without death our parents and their parents, etc, would still be around (possibly at the age just before the body starts to break down, lets say 27), and taking up more space on this planet and eating our food.
Evolution therefore ‘decided’ that it would be best to kill off the parents once they had served their purpose; creating offspring that can keep up with the changing environment of the earth and become a more evolved being. This goes for all species on the planet.
Makes sense, yes?
But what if procreation slowed, as it is with humans in some countries. Or what if we developed ways to inhabit other planets, which could mean we wouldn’t have issues with lack of food or space. Couldn’t we then explain to our bodies that we don’t need to die. That we have gone far enough along in evolution that we can adapt our environment to suit us. Not too much, of course, although we are probably changing/adapting it too much right now. But maybe, eventually we could find a happy medium.
We could still have kids, the ones that actually want to, and they would continue evolution. It would take thousands of years before they would be that different to us, so it’s really no issue.
All we need then is to turn off the gene in our bodies that makes our bodies age.
This would also help with disease and cancer. When our bodies age, they don’t put as much effort into fixing things. Our bodies don’t really need to anymore. We’re old, we’re getting ready to die, so there’s no sense in eating additional food to supply the repair of our bodies. Maybe our bodies will put a little effort into repair, but it won’t bother too much.
You may as well go and get one of those box CRT TV’s and repair that, that’s how senseless it is.
But that’s the thing, our bodies don’t realise we have unlimited food (something we need to make happen in every country first, however), that we have medical procedures that can help us, that we can rest and not have to work every single day to hunt and gather if we need to repair. We don’t want a Band-Aid job, we want our bodies to heal fully and properly!

I believe bodies can be easily repaired by themselves. We just need to work out how.
Maybe it would involve putting the body in a state of chemical induced coma so the body doesn’t have to do anything else but heal... there would be more to it than that, of course. Somehow we need to tell our genes that we have the time and the energy to do all repairs. Maybe even grown back limbs and teeth that have fallen out?

Pain is another thing. Wouldn’t it be better if instead of pain our bodies gave us a better idea of what was wrong so we could then work out how to fix it.
Pain is very basic. A lot of the time it comes from something swelling in our bodies which then causes us pain and that stops us from doing that particular thing too much.
An example is, if we were hunting back in days when we were clueless of why pain happened, then twisted our ankle. It would then swell up so much that it looked like our foot swallowed a tennis ball.
That swelling is a reaction by our own bodies designed to create pain. Yes, our bodies want to make that ankle painful. This then stops us from using that leg. If we try and use it, it hurts.
Our body now gives itself a high-5 because what it set out to do worked; it doesn’t want you using that ankle anymore.
Now it has time to heal the ankle. And when the swelling goes down, that should approximately coincide with when the healing that it wishes to complete.

Book is to be published next year!

Well, it's getting closer to the time when my book will finally be published. Editing still takes up many hours of my day, but I can now see a very small light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
Suraya, CEO of he Story Mint, has set a date of June 2013. A long way away, I know, but it's a goal date, so we shall finalise as we get closer.

I then have a sequel to finish writing as well as two other novels to finish editing that are separate to the first. So much work to do and so little time.

On two other notes:
I scored a speaking part in the show named Mrs Biggs. A movie about Ronald Biggs, the train robber, and his family.
My part is where Ronald and his family are in Australia and there's an accident when the ambulance is going to a hospital.
I'm the ambulance driver.
I jump out and yell at the person driving the other car, then drive like a maniac (seriously was actually driving like a maniac as instructed by the director in a powerful 1960s ambulance with no power steering, no power assisted breaking and taking corners like I was indestructible).

Second is my part in a Britex commercial.
Narelle (my TV wife) and I battle it out with different vacuum cleaners to see who is the winner.
Already airing in their test city of Wollongong on WIN tv. Then will go national depending on consumer response. So if you live in Wollongong please go and hire out a Britex steam cleaner vac from coles and say you are doing it because of the commercial!! Then maybe we'll be called back for more commercials with Britex :)

Who reads now days?

I found it difficult to find any stats on Australia or even the UK, but the US, as stated by the National Endowment of the Arts posted in 2008, has it at 50.2% of adults reading literature.
I thought it would be closer to a third or quarter of the population, but half, that’s not bad.
I’m guessing the other English speaking countries such as Aust, NZ, Canada are the same with slight variances.
That’s around 150 million readers in the US, 30 million readers in the UK, 10 million in Australia, etc.
I hear that paper books are still leading above digital downloads. I wonder if it will eventually be around 50% each? Many say paper book will be lost to us entirely. I disagree, they will go the way of the radio, cinemas, theatre, etc. Just because there's a different way of getting your entertainment, it doesn't mean it will destroy the others.

-----

Further (and only slightly related) thoughts:
This brings me to another interesting statistic; first, have you read any of the highest selling books over the last 10 or so years? You know, Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code, and more recently: Fifty Shades of Grey. Well, I found some stats on the third Harry Potter book as quoted in the New York Times: 900,000 books available for sale for the first print run in the US - and 275,000 for the rest of the English speaking countries.
If you remember how many readers there are and how popular Harry Potter books are/were, it doesn’t seem like many, does it? Just over a million people reading the first lot of books when we already established that there are around 200 million English speaking readers! 199 million went without reading Harry Potter!
Did they expect to sell only that many copies - so that’s less than 1% of the reading population in (for example) the US wanted to read Harry Potter? Nope, not so. There were many more print runs after that, and again after that.
According to Nielsen Bookscan (UK) they’re up to around 3 million copies sold in the UK for each of the Harry Potter books. Sorry no such stats available to me for the US, which is annoying, although we can estimate:
3 million copies sold in UK, 30 million readers. That’s 10% of the population of readers that bought/read harry potter. 1 in 10 people. Wow, that’s actually a lot! Although, that’s still 9 people out of 10 that didn’t think the third Harry Potter book was worth a read.
And if we estimate that it’s the same in the US (10%): 15 million Harry Potter books (the third in the series) sold.
That means 135 million said, nah, I’m not reading that.

Your thoughts?
I thought everyone had read Harry Potter (actually, I haven't, but I probably will some day).

Why did I bring this tidbit of information up? Well, if you’re an author and nine out of ten people don’t want to read your book, maybe you shouldn’t feel too down? It may be that you just haven’t found the millions of people that do want to read your book?
Hell, if it was 1 in 100 that wanted to read your book, then that’s still well over 1 million copies sold in the US alone.
And what about if there were 999 people that didn’t want to read your book but the 1,000th did (1 in 1,000), that’s crap loads over 100,000 books sold in the US. Still great sales for anyone!

More thoughts:
So, if you’re a reader and you find it hard to find a person that likes your favourite author, keep asking around, maybe by the 100th or 1,000th person you’ll find someone that does.

If you’re an author, then don’t be disgruntled when you get a rejection from a publisher or when the 5 friends you showed it to didn’t like the story, there’s still a chance that there are thousands or millions that will.

Last thoughts:
I’m very aware that statistics can be manipulated or abbreviated or spliced and will then give false data, so please don’t take any of this information as ‘gospel’. This is a blog, and blogs are for people that like to unload what’s in their brain and put it to paper... okay, the internet.
Enjoy, discuss, or call it nonsense. But you did read it, so you must have thought about it too?

Melbourne Earthquake - Write all about it

So you felt the earth shake rattle and roll too?
I was sitting in my warehouse office working away at my computer when it felt like a truck had hit the building.
I had some new work done, new rooms being built, so thought they were coming crashing down. I got my ass out of there and watched and waited for the timber to splinter and for it all to suddenly crumble and collapse. Crazy stuff.
I tried getting on the Govt website to check out the readings for the earthquake but the servers have crashed, I guess every man and his dog had the same idea.
Scary but funny.
Added note, we are getting close to the end of the Mayan calendar ;)

Lost backpack in taxi - bye bye laptop

It's now been 2 weeks since I left my backpack in a Melbourne taxi (Australia). During those 2 weeks I have contacted the police lost property (strangely closed on weekends), lost property for the taxi companies (Silvertop has one but Black Cabs does not), and filed a lost property report with the local police.
I have recently been told by the taxi company that there was no backpack in the back of the taxi, according to the driver. So either the next passenger has decided to keep my belongings or the taxi driver wanted a laptop for his kid.
The police have said that using cameras within the taxis costs too much money and would not be done for such a small thing as my stuff going missing. So that avenue was closed to me.

On that fateful day when I misplaced my backpack with one 7 inch screen laptop (very small), one writing book on Ernest Hemmingway, two novels - one of them Stephen Kings IT, a black umbrella, 2 flash drives and a iPhone battery pack, I was attending a writer's festival in Melbourne. My yellow day pass is also still inside.
I spent the day writing on my little laptop and listening to other published authors talk about their experiences with writing, editing and publishing. A good day actually. If you write and want to talk to some friendly people, go to the Melbourne Emerging Writer's Festival.

I have now bought a new backpack and a new laptop, although being a struggling artist I can't spend much, but at least now I have replacements. I endeavour to never take off that backpack again unless it is wrapped around my legs so I trip over it, and don't go anywhere without it.
My main issue is that I have lost the words that I have written over the last few weeks on that laptop. A pity really. There was some good stuff on there. Still, there is always hope, maybe someone will turn my backpack into the police one day? Maybe I'll get my hard work back from that laptop? Even if someone emailed me the files, that would be enough.
I didn't have any ID in there so if someone didn't think of turning it into the police then they probably would have just said, oh well, finders keepers. Although, taxi drivers are suppose to turn lost property into the nearest police station within 48 hours.

I don't know how women remember to take their handbag everywhere? Maybe it's a male thing to forget where they put things?

Backpack and therefore laptop gone on this day: Saturday night May 26 11.45pm. Back of taxi, Southbank.
The backpack has only one strap and so goes across the chest so would be recognisable.

Just tested my writing style with an automated tester

Hey has anyone tested a sample of their story to The Story Mint yet? If you have let me know what type of writer it thinks you are. I mostly fall into the Stephen King, Wilbur Smith, Maeve Binchy, area.
It can test a smaple of your work of 500 words, although if you sign up you can test 5,000 words.
www.thestorymint.com

Write fiction the right way

I recently posted to LinkedIn regarding the way we are currently being taught to write (succinctly, no over-writing, less adverbs, less adjectives, less similes, less metaphors, trimming fat, don’t use the same word over and over, shorter condensed descriptions, stronger verbs and nouns, delete not required backstory, don’t repeat yourself, use active voice the majority of the time, increase action, express don’t explain, show don’t tell, etc.) and asked other writers if they know of any professional  published authors that write this way. There aren’t many. It seems that most people break the rules.
One thing I heard was; learn all the rules, then once you have done that and you are proficient in writing the way you are suppose to, only then are you allowed to break the rules as you see fit. Probably good advice. Still, how can we learn from ‘good’ authors if everyone breaks the rules?
Ernest Hemingway seems to be one of those well known and respected published authors that does write the way we are suppose to write. There are probably others, I just haven’t read their novels yet.
It is annoying, though, that we continue to pick up and learn supposedly bad habits from almost every single novel that's on the shelves today.

Here’s the link in case you’re interested: http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&gid=1780627&type=member&item=113801448&commentID=82456442&report%2Esuccess=PdmtybENV2mnc3t3p8JpWuFiB1ZhaD9OnKUphCsu7LRNRYTOK1wrHHO_rcDN0rVBb1wuxUyPL-SZ#commentID_82456442

*The group is private, so you will have to join to see the posts. Only takes a second and it's through LinkedIn, so it's safe. If you're already a part of LinkedIn then it will take even less time.

My LinkedIn Profile: http://au.linkedin.com/pub/mat-clarke/21/bb6/982

What have you read? (Shelfari)

Sometimes I wonder what book I'm going to read next.
If you're happy to share what you have read then go to this website and punch a few in so I can see. Rate them if you can too.

Mine:
http://www.shelfari.com/matclarke

Also GoodReads if you prefer:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/12872562-mat-clarke?shelf=read


Jason Hargenrader started me on this site. I've listed only a small quantity of books so far. Once I bring some of my other books out of storage I will start logging in the rest, although I bet I will only be able list around a third of what I have read. I think I have less than 100 titles listed so far.
P.S. You don't have to list books that are classics and then rate them as fantastic, or list only popular books by popular authors and rate them highly because that's what everyone else does. Don't be a snob. Just feel free to list whatever books you have read and rate them high or low, depending on if you enjoyed reading it.


*Message me below of your shelfari or GoodReads page!