AUDREY HEPBURN AND I CONSIDER OUR ASSETS

A MUSICAL ABOUT FAMILY, THERAPY, HOLLYWOOD & FALLING OUT OF LOVE
Book by Gaylene Cabris, Noel Anderson & Cerise de Gelder
Music & Lyrics by Geoff Main

https://www.facebook.com/pages/AUDREY-HEPBURN-AND-I-CONSIDER-OUR-ASSETS-A-new-musical-made-in-Melbourne/743570852322121

Description

AUDREY HEPBURN AND I CONSIDER OUR ASSETS

SYNOPSIS
Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets is a musical about Liz O’Sullivan, a struggling thirties something suburban girl growing up in Melbourne in the late 1960’s and 70’s. Liz has been brought up by her adoring parents as if she’s the star in a Hollywood movie from the Golden Age. Surrounded by the voices in her head and inner turmoil, Liz cracks under the pressure of the endless chatter telling her who she is and what she should be. Her movie-mad parents, aunts and uncles, offering only visions of life that come straight from the silver screen. Lonely and scared, Liz jumps on board a merry-go-round of part-lovers trying to find a real man but instead finds Len, a simple man, who wants nothing more than marriage, children and a wife. What should she do? Is marriage really the answer? Maybe therapy will help her get away from all the responsibilities of her life? So with the help of Rod, her overbearing good looking therapist, Liz must drive out the voices and ‘do the seeing’.

Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets is a funny, lyrical and moving musical about family, the importance of idols, and the value we place on appearances. And, how sometimes delving beneath the surface can unearth an unexpected guardian angel.

Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets is a funny and probing exploration of one woman’s journey to selfhood and self-acceptance.

Reviews based on the original play
“Like Dorothy Hewitt’s ‘The Chapel Perilous,’ Audrey and I explores a broad canvas in a way that is not didactic but funny, accessible and very real”
– Sue Ingleton (actor/playwright/director)

“Gaylene’s work is so beautiful, so honest – and so brave.”
– Kerry Armstrong (acclaimed Australian actress)

“This play would make a great musical”
• Wolf Heidecker (award-winning director and producer)

“I loved this play – it’s very, very funny, very clever, and well-written. Entertaining, delightful”
• Linda Gibson (comedian)

Biography
GAYELENE CARBIS (Writer) is an award-winning playwright, poet, fiction and non-fiction writer whose work has been performed and produced in Australia and overseas, including Athens, Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Ireland, Oxford and New York. After touring Regional Victoria in 2011, Gayelene's play This Is What Happened toured Asia in 2012, including George Town Festival in Penang. Gayelene is dramaturg/script consultant on the opera libretto Confined (by performer Tammy Brennan) which has had showings at the Arulean Theatre (Alice Springs), Legs on the Wall (Sydney); and will be performed in India in 2013. In 2012, Gaylene was awarded a scholarship for a five-week Residency at Banff in Canada and read her poetry in Canada and New York. In 2011, Gayelene was selected for the Librettists Workshop with Chamber Made Opera. Gayelene's plays include: Crossing The Bridge (La Mama), Women Men Nazis and Trucks (La Mama), Disconnected (Fitzroy Gallery, Edinburgh Festival), Ode To Death (La Mama), Going Out Tonight (Butterfly Club, Wesley Anne), and Cunversations (Theatreworks). Acclaimed actress Kerry Armstrong has expressed interest in performing Gayelene's work in a one-woman show. Gayelene is currently writing a new one-woman show for Clara Pagone. Gayelene's play for her Masters in Creative Writing (Melbourne University) achieved First Class Honours and she has now applied to do the VCA Masters in Writing for Performance in 2013.

NOEL ANDERSON (Co-Writer & Director) completed NIDA’s Playwright Studio 1996 and also trained at Stella Adler Studio (New York), The Gate Theatre (London), Independent Theatre (Sydney) and Brisbane Academy of Music. He has worked as an actor, director, writer throughout Australia, his written work includes: Germ Warfare, Circles and The Carer which played at Sydney’s Belvoir Street theatre. Noel's strictly adult play, Sammy & Dave, which he also directed, played to packed houses at the Stables Theatre (Sydney), and ran for 3 months. In 2001-2002, Noel’s children’s play Kylie Kastle Throws a Party was performed in hundreds of schools across the country by Troubadour Theatre Co. As director & dramaturg, Noel worked on Kingdom - an Australian musical based on the King Arthur Legend and also The Other Half, a TV pilot for Beyond Films. Noel assistant directed on the first ever Aboriginal sitcom produced on SBS TV called The Masters, and counts Sylvia Plath’s play Letter’s Home at Belvoir Street Theatre among his best directing work. In 2004 -2006, Noel worked on a feature film script, Adult Services and a new play, Moonshot, about the American Lunar landing. But, needing adventure, he packed up and moved to Melbourne where he directed Dark Angels with Pop Diva Katie Underwood (Bardot). In 2008, Noel’s short play "Pulling Out" won Midsumma’s Pink Shorts Festival and Noel's production The Water Sellers at Dante's was awarded Best Director by the Monash Theatre Festival. In 2013, Noel's written work was performed in the show Love Letters at the Melbourne Arts Centre and his play Andy Warhol's Fifteen Minutes of Fame played to full houses at La Mama, Courthouse. Other directing work includes: Oliver (The Gold Coast Performing Arts Centre), Friday Night in Town, A Fitzroy Romance, Blowing Whistles, Australia Dot Com (Melbourne Comedy Festival) and Especes Menacees (performed in French) for the Melbourne French Theatre Company. Festival credits include : The Sydney Gay Mardi Gras, The Sydney Olympic Arts Festival, The Sydney Film Festival, and The Sydney 2000 Olympic Games.

CERISE DE GELDER (Co-Writer) has had plays performed around Australia, in the USA, New Zealand, Canada, India, Malaysia, Dubai and the UK, on stage, film and radio. Since 2004 she has been a regular participant in Melbourne Writers’ Theatre seasons, Williamstown Little Theatre Play Six, Walking Into Bars productions, Baggage Productions Madwomen Monologues, the Adelaide Fringe Festival, Flinders University Drama Department productions, and Short and Sweet festivals around the world in both theatre and cabaret. Her plays have been performed by local theatre companies all around the country, and have won several national playwriting awards, including Noosa Arts Theatre One-Act Playwriting Competition (Man Of Snow), the Dogwood Playwright Initiative Radio Play Competition (Squeaking In Tums) and Kew Court House Arts Association National Playwriting Competition (Snap). In both 2007 and 2008 she was named Writer Of The Year at Walking Into Bars’ Crash Test Drama. Full-length productions have included A Narrow Time For Angels (two week season at The Storeroom), Searching For Comets and A Narrow Time For Angels, The Musical (Wishing Well Productions, Midsumma Festivals), The Umbrella Plays and Just Douglas (Accidental Productions, Adelaide Fringe Festivals), and a MWT season at La Mama First George and Then Sally and The Cherry Umbrella. Her next production is Beyond Sky There Be Dragons (Melbourne Fringe Festival) and she is currently collaborating on three new musicals.

GEOFF MAIN (Composer/Lyricist) - Geoff's writing career started in his mid 20’s when he wrote a one act musical for a Melbourne local theatre company. Shortly after he moved to Toronto, Canada where he became a radio producer/director for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) creating national and provincial programs. His most well known work was Radio Noon and Sunday AM. After more than two years with the CBC, Geoff joined the Victoria Theatre, Stoke-on-Trent, England as a stage manager. Here he worked with their resident playwright , Christopher Bond, who was currently acting in his play “Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.” Chris’s play was later adapted by Stephen Sondheim into the well known musical. In 2003, with Renn Barker, he created and developed the musical play “Face A New World”, writing the 17 songs in an integrated style. A CD was produced with arrangements by John Grant .

New Google Maps on your computer - slow, clunky, lack of control

I won't rant on about this "update" too much, because I think everyone already has.
I use Google Maps for book research as well as getting around my area and other cities. And now I've gotten used to using it I don't want there to be less options. Happy enough with more, but don't take things away!
My main issue is that we don't have a choice. I tried the new way for a while then turned it off (when there was a choice). Now that there is no choice, I want my money back! Oh wait, I didn't pay anything.
I guess that's the thing in the end, it's free so they can pretty much do what ever they want. Annoying, but true.
First annoying thing about the new Google Maps: It takes quite a while for things to happen. I'm not big on the special things new programs can do where they fade in and genie up or whatever. I would rather the bare brass kind of program. Gets the job done and quickly!
There is also the annoying issue with not being able to drag the little orange person to where you want it to go once you dropped it. However, you can click where you want it to go, so sort of works. But then there is the issue of the map being too small and that there is no "pin" to show you where you were.
Follow me? No? Nor does the little orange person. Let me try to explain.
Once you drop the orange person, the map does that special drain swirl thing (while I grind my teeth waiting for it to finish) and then shows the street view. Great, but I want the map bigger so I can see where I am because I don't know this part of the city.
Nope, sorry, what you see is what you get.
Fine, whatever. I'll just move the map around or drop the orange person in different places so I can see where I am and where I want to go or search around.
You can, but once you start moving around the map you will notice that your "pin" for the address or area you were checking out does not show up in that map. You have to go back to the full map and start over.
Sigh. Close program and forget about it.

P.S. They are letting you change back to the old Google Maps. Maybe I'll change back again once they fix the problems.
 Maps: https://support.google.com/maps/answer/3045828?hl=en

Words come easily, just not when dating

Words don’t fail me when writing, nor does it happen when talking (generally). That doesn’t mean I do or say or write the correct thing when it leads up to or comes to a date.

Everyone travels along the dating path at some stage in life. Then the successes are decided depending on what the dating pair intended for the outcome to be.
Fling?
Long term?
Fun?
Tester?
Friends?
Friends with more?
Many times what you are searching for is not what your dating partner wants. Not that this matters, because they may play the game and nod to whatever they think they should agree with, and shake their head when otherwise required. This added to an observation or funny anecdote and suddenly the date is being wooed without them both actually being on the same wavelength. Either way, your words and the way you hold yourself will determine what result is eventually achieved.

Meek: Maybe you decide on the old proverb, “open your mouth and crap may come out.” Don’t quote me on that being exactly correct, but it’s the general gist.
The result of this can give your date the idea that you can not make decisions, do not have original ideas, you’re shy, you have something to hide, and finally that you might be like this all the time and will therefore be awkward to be around in the extended future.

Happy: Generally this is something I can associate myself with. And I think happy is best.
However, it can also take on some of the other three dating classes listed here. Laughing at every joke can be bad, especially when a joke wasn’t made. Smiling at your partner until it becomes creepy. Or seemingly drunk when you have only been sipping on a hot chocolate. A meek smile can only be pulled off by the most genuine person.

Confident or arrogant: Females and males can fall into this area. I have never experienced a date with an arrogant or confident male, of course, but friends of mine have. Confidence can be very good, but hard to make yourself take on that persona, plus there is a line that you can’t see but your date can and will turn off as soon as you cross it.

Clown: Juggling, card tricks, showing how you can stand on your head. I think these are all great things, but that may also show why I am still single.

What about online dating. Emails. Profiles. Crazy internet weirdos. This also makes you wonder about internet etiquette, but more about that at the end.

Profiles: What to put in there? Can it work? For a small minority I think it can, but once you have a smorgasbord of people at your finger tips as well as their private information they had to think long and hard about, you start to either become more picky, or already have your doubts about anyone who needs the internet to find someone.
Most people will go by the pictures and only read the profile information as a follow up.

Some examples of not so good pictures:
Pictures from a failed marriage would not be a good idea to include. Maybe a picture with a tiger or monkey? Selfie in the mirror? A picture with no top on or less clothes than you would go outside with?
Heard it all before?

If you’re potential date is still deciding, they may read through your profile and see if you both have something in common. Mostly they’ll say no or close your profile and come back to it before the end of the day and then decide no anyway.

Who am I?: It’s not often we have to take a look inside ourselves and then note down what we find.
Most will talk about their personality, hobbies, what they do with friends and what person they’re looking for. And that’s probably the best advice.
EVERYONE says they are down to earth and love their family and friends. And if you like to be like everyone else, feel free to do the same.

Emails: Tricky. Very tricky also if you like to kid around. You may get caught out where a person doesn’t know your kind of sense of humour, or just wasn’t expecting it. Or, you just may not know how to get your joke across properly and may end up insulting your potential date.
You also don’t want to come off sounding bland, so just sticking to the facts about yourself and the weather may push the person away and have them thinking you’re a passionless robot.

Who are you?: You may not even know who you are looking for: A person with four limbs is preferred, but not essential, can talk at least a bit, and can pay for his own drinks or meal.
If you get too picky you may be left behind while everyone else snags a person. Tough line, but the thing is that you can never learn who a person is by reading a profile, reading an email, or even meeting a person on a date knowing that you’re both being severely judged. And if you say or do one wrong thing, or don’t do what your date expected or wanted you to do, you will be scratched off the list.

At least before the internet you would get to know someone at a bar or at a friends gathering for a few minutes before suddenly realising you could ask this person on a date. You also got to see how this person interacted with others. This gave you a great idea on what type of person they were.

Internet dating etiquette. Are there rules? What are they? Do we care?
Yes, there are some rules to follow. No you are not allowed to be an asshole because a person is not face to face with you. Yes, you do have to be respectful and realise their time is as valuable as your own. (Please feel free to add to this list as well as disagree with any already on this list:
1) Reply! It’s only common decency.
2) Don’t get in touch if you don’t like replying to emails.
3) Don’t get in touch if you don’t like meeting your dates. If you prefer to only email, you may want to find a pen-pal.
4) First date is not really a date, so best to go with a drink or cuppa, not a meal.
5) Paying for the drink or cuppa should probably be by each individual. However, the person who paid to contact the other person may deserve a free drink? Still, old customs such as the guy paying for everything is hard to overlook.
6) You don’t have to pay for both drinks if you are not interested, only your won.
7) If you do decide to dine together, then paying half each may make you feel better if you do not intend to see that person again.
8) Profiles and emails are not the same as a person in real life. Get to know them again once you meet in real life.
9) 30 min to 90 mins is fine for a first date.
10) Don’t ask 20 questions. It’s not an interview. Talk about things you would normally do so with friends. If you like someone you already know everything you need to know. The rest will be found out organically and over time, like it was before the internet.
11) Treat others how you would like to be treated. That should be a given. Still, when you act, think about how you would feel if someone else acted that way to you.
12) Don’t roll your eyes.
13) We all have baggage, it’s normal, so try not to show all your “crazy” on the first date. Spread it out so you sound normal.
14) Don’t judge. A person may be very different from their profile, emails, and when you first meet. Shyness is something that is eventually overcome. So is awkwardness. If you’re a nice person, you will help them through this shyness instead of shun them. Your reward may be a very nice and giving partner.
16) If you are after sex and not much more, it’s ok to put it in your profile. Then you’ll find each other much more easily. Then people who want a relationship can find each other more easily too.
15) Reply to emails/messages!

Give me money!

I know I mentioned this once before, but once more can't hurt.
I know it's hard to have cash and do the things you want to do. For me, it's writing novels and children's stories. So hopefully I can help you buy giving you information on making some safe money.

If you've wondered where to trade the US dollar (and other money) and heard about people making money when the US dollar goes up (or down), you can try it out on this site even if you don't know what you're doing. You just type in the amount, hit GO, then wait to see if the dollar changes, then hit sell when it does.

Most people in the past have put in $1,000-20,000 so that they make more money when the dollar changes. But if you want to put in $10, that's fine too. To work out how much money you make, say that if you put in $100 and the dollar changes 5 cents, then you make $5. $1,000 and you make $50. $10,000 gets you $500, etc.

Good thing is that if you're unsure, then you don't even have to use real money to start with. You can use the practice part of the site and test if you will actually make money. There are other trading things you can do on there, such shares etc. So might be worth your time to see if you can make some cash each day when you're just watching TV anyway.

Most of the time there is an extra bonus thing you can get when you sign up, so in the area, "How did you hear about us", type in "Mat Clarke" so you get the bonus. http://tradedirect365.com.au/