Meeting New People and Overcoming Nerves

Just be confident!

How many times has your older sibling or best friend told you to do that just before you went on a date or to a party to meet new people?

Thanks for the advice, but if I could "be confident", don't you think I would have done that by now?

I have no idea how to be someone I do not know how to be.

I can be confident in front of you, that's easy, but what happens when I'm looking confident and someone asks me a question? How do I say the right thing?

I know I'm not normal like everyone else, so I think I'll stay home and crawl into a ball. Thanks anyway.

It's not so easy to know how to act or how to "be yourself" when being yourself is you constantly singing out loud, scratching areas of your body you are not supposed to openly scratch in public, eating with your mouth open while also talking to your cat (who is no doubt plotting to kill you and declare themselves ruler of everything) and wearing clothes that should have gone into the trash before COVID hit. So how do you become the person others want to talk to so you can act like a normal human in front of them?

First, keep singing while you read this article. In fact, go and get that two-day-old pizza out of your fridge, get yourself a glass of wine or beer or both and continue to eat while you're reading and spitting little pieces of food at the screen. It's cool, you're in your own house. Fuck everyone else.

Second, make a boring list of things people generally talk about at these kinds of things you are going to, whether it be to a date or to a party or to a pub where you might start talking to someone cute. The list should be dot points of topics you may have overheard people mention at work or on the train/tram or at a pub, and you thought sounded semi-interesting.

Third, practice with someone. You can practice with your cat initially but then find a human. Possibly that human that told you to be confident. If they're so good at it then they should excel at this, right? Try to remember how other people bring up topics. Choose topics that most people will know at least a little about so you can get them nodding once you start to talk. Also, try to create a question within your topic so others will feel welcome to weigh in (there are going to be people just as anxiety-stricken as you who want something to talk about while not looking like an idiot). Having many topics ready will help you segue into any conversation. If someone talks about the floods in Victoria, you can bring up something like: "El Niño typically leads to reduced spring and early summer rainfall for eastern Australia, and warmer days for the southern two-thirds of the country (no one talks like that, so make sure you change that sentence into something you would actually say). Then say something like: I think it's time to move to Thailand for better weather, hey! When was the last time you went to Thailand?" (if it is a group). If it is an individual, then ask if they have been. If they haven't, ask if they have travelled. If they haven't travelled, don't try to sound superior, just say something like: Melbourne is great, so even if I could move, I love it here too much. What area of Melbourne do you live in? Hopefully the answer is not: You're standing in my house. Who invited you here?

As for the singing out loud and scratching in places people are not supposed to see you scratch, do it anyway if it makes you feel good. Probably don't eat with your mouth open, but do talk to animals. Oh, and a very important bit of information you need to know: Humans are all insane, it's just how well these people have gotten at hiding their insanity from society that makes them all appear normal. No one is proper, calm and confident. If they say they are then they are lying!

Or, maybe you don't need to change yourself. Maybe you can participate in enjoyable activities in Melbourne with a friendly host. 

Does this sound like a better idea to you? 

If so, then sign up with www.friendlyfamiliars.com and find an event you'll enjoy one-on-one. There's so much to do and enjoy that you may as well be with someone who wants to show you the greatest of times in town.

Lonliness, Dating and Friendships

We've all heard the hype about how we need friends and how it can prolong a healthy life. If we have a friend to talk to about our feelings and problems, then we can sort out our stress rather than bottling it up. Well, I want to tell you that being on your own is ok and you should not do what others tell you. You can be just as happy with animals as you can with humans. However, for those who want a human or three in their lives, there is an easier way than nervously asking someone from work to be your friend or date . . .

We live in a time where we want everything now and we don't want to work hard for it. It's normal because humans have been evolving to make their lives easier ever since we created basic tribes. It's why we became pack animals and worked together to create a society where we can depend on one another. 

Go to www.friendlyfamiliars.com to see what they can do for you. It's not a dating site and it's not a friend circle where you meet many people all at once. Instead, it is a way to meet a person who is similar to you and wants to make you feel special. You'll be able to find a friend or date who wants to spend time with you but without the awkwardness of having to create an initial friendship. Someone to spot you at the gym, someone who knows all the best surfing spots, someone to go jogging with after work, someone who will take you on a happy hour afternoon and introduce you to their friends. Someone who gets you, knows your cat's name and appreciates great dining or casual snacks at a foodstand. 

All you have to do is book your new friend for a catchup. Yes, that's it. It's their job to say yes. They are there for you and they want to create a great time for both of you. Starting in Melbourne for now. Yet to expand Australia-wide.

Happy Hour and Discountedd Meals Melbourne

It's almost the day you're supposed to catch up with an old friend or a new one. You need somewhere to go that will aid you in striking up conversations as well as give you the opportunity to buy food and drinks without breaking the bank. You'll need a nice venue now that Melbourne is getting back on the horse again, albeit slowly. It's time to get back out there!

One of my favourite places is The Wharf Hotel in Melborne CBD opposite Jeff's Shed. You'll enter the venue via the waterfront, as it has no street entrance. While sitting outside under the sun or resting comfortably inside, you can look out over the Yarra River and the many people entering Crown Casino or walking past Polly Woodisde to DFO. As you turn your mind to the bar you'll notice that happy starts at 4pm and ends at 7pm Monday to Friday. So grab yourself a schooner, spirit or wine for $7, sit back and relax. 

What you can do:

A game will usually be on so you can cheer and enjoy the excitement. 

One of the friendly staff will be happy to chat and talk about what you can see and do nearby. 

No food discounts anymore, unfortunately. They used to be great with the Monday to Thursday cheap eats, but maybe that will return in Summer. Otherwise, download The Pass app and get $10 off your first purchase.

TGI Fridays is a good favourite in any part of Melbourne. Inside Melbourne Central you'll find that TGI Fridays is up two sets of escalators from Swanston Street. They run a happy hour from 4pm to 6pm. It includes $6 schooners, wines and spirits. They also do cheap cocktails which I love. If you stay on, they generally run a late night happy hour as well which is from 8pm to 10pm. Not bad if you want to chat your friend's ear off all night. Sit at the bar and talk to the bartenders if you like. They're happy to make you feel welcome when they're not run off their feet. You can also download their app and get some small discounted snacks. 

Melbourne Central Lion starts happy hour at 4pm and ends at 7pm, but only Monday to Thursday. You'll be able to buy pints for $9 and pay $7 for wine and spirits. If you like the idea of food specials Sunday to Thursday, then check them out upon arrival. They usually do great cheap pizza too.

Just a little north of the CBD is the Queensberry Hotel. If they aren't busy they'll sometimes close early, so get in before they do. Happy Hour is a standard 25% off from 5pm to 7pm except Mondays when it is $6 beer and $6 spirits. They also do great meal options at budget prices, such as a parma on Wednesday for $20.

I've always enjoyed happy hour at Father's Office, especially considering they love to double dip. Your first happy hour is 5pm to 7pm and your second is from 8pm to 10pm. It just may force you to stay all night! Oh no, what a pity :) It runs every day with selected cocktails at $12, pints from $8 and $9 spirits. They also do some cheap meals during some of their weekdays. The part I like is the balcony that looks out over Swanston Street. A lovely view I have enjoyed many times over. Oh, and they also have a venue in Flinders Lane as well as their original spot on Little Lonsdale.

One of the things I found hard to find in the city was good pizza. Domino's on the thin crust will sometimes do, but if you need good American pizza or chicken wings, try Sal's Pizza on Flinders Lane. It's a tiny place, but the food is great (greasy and tasty). Otherwise, the Universal Hotel a little north of the CBD is your best option for traditional pizza.

If you want to spend these great moments with other people, but you're yet to find some friends in the city, or all your friends are busy, then sign up to www.friendlyfamiliars.com and find someone who gets you. There's so much to do in town, so it's a great thing if are not doing it alone.